


You're a Winner (Though You Think You're Not)

by cellostiel



Category: Hades (Video Game 2018)
Genre: ADHD, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Coming Out, Father Figures, Gen, Genderfluid Achilles (Hades Video Game), Genderfluid Character, Neurodivergent Meltdown, Neurodiversity, Trans Character, Trans Male Character, Trans Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:34:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27165982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cellostiel/pseuds/cellostiel
Summary: Zagreus has always struggled with his emotions. One day, during training with Achilles, he has one of his meltdowns. Achilles helps him calm down.A short scene from Zagreus' childhood.
Relationships: Achilles & Zagreus (Hades Video Game)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 169





	You're a Winner (Though You Think You're Not)

**Author's Note:**

> Zagreus is trans and has ADHD, I don't make the rules. Also Achilles is an excellent father figure and was one of the best influences on Zagreus' childhood.
> 
> Additional CW for references to Hades' uhhh Questionable parenting decisions, specifically in regards to his way of seemingly only giving Zagreus negative reinforcement. Also, Zagreus is misgendered a couple times, and his deadname is used, though the former is before he's come out, and the latter is censored/redacted. 
> 
> On that note: do not try to guess what Zag's deadname was. It doesn't matter, and there's no reason for you to know what it was. I made the decision to redact it for a reason.
> 
> Zagreus is supposed to be about 8-ish here, or the equivalent of that age in god-years. Also I wrote this drabble in like an Hour and have hardly edited it so all mistakes are my own and such, lol. Anyway, please enjoy!!

Zagreus' roar of frustration echoes through the room, backdropped by the clatter of the training sword clattering to the ground. 

"I _can't!"_ he cries, fisting his hands in his hair. "I'm no good at this! I'm _useless!"_

"You are _not_ useless," Achilles says, his tone gentle but stern. It's how he always is — soft, and understanding, but certain and unyielding. Zagreus hates it. He wishes Achilles would just yell back, would get angry at him for messing up like everyone else does. "████, look at me."

Zagreus doesn't want to. He doesn't want to answer to that name anymore, doesn't want to look up and see the disappointment in Achilles' eyes. This is far from the first time that Zagreus has thrown a tantrum like this during their training, and shame burns hot in his chest, though it gives him no power to stop himself from acting this way. He doesn't know what's wrong with him, why he can't just behave and do the tasks he's been given without messing everything up. 

"████," Achilles repeats. "You've made a good effort here today. You _always_ make a good effort. Swordsmanship takes time to master. No one learns it overnight."

"You did," Zagreus says miserably. 

"You truly think so?" Achilles asks. He sounds amused. Zagreus frowns, looking up at him. Achilles' smile is soft; reassuring. Zagreus feels even more ashamed of himself. "Little God, I trained in the martial arts from the moment I could hold a sword. I took to it fairly readily, yes, but it still took me years to get even to the point of competency. You've only been at this for a few weeks. Give it time." 

"Stop that!" Zagreus yells. "Stop pretending like I'll ever be able to get it right! I'm stupid, and useless, and you'd all be better off without me!"

"████." Achilles grips Zagreus' shoulders, his tone severe. "Don't you ever say that. Do you hear me? I never want you to think those kinds of thoughts about yourself. You are worth much more than what you can do. Even if you can't wield a sword, even if you can't do the work that your father assigns you, there are people who love and care for you, myself included." 

Zagreus doesn't realize that he's crying until a sob rips its way out of his chest. Achilles pulls him into a hug, rocking them gently and murmuring soft words of comfort. "I hate myself," Zagreus sobs.

"Then I shall love you twice over," Achilles says, "until you are able to see yourself as I and so many others do." He rubs Zagreus' back soothingly. "You are still so young yet, Lass. You, more than most, have all the time in the world to find your place in it. Have patience. And at times when that patience wears thin, know that I am here to help you land gently and pick up the pieces."

Zagreus sniffs, hiding his face in Achilles' shoulder. "Don't call me that," he whispers.

"Hm? Call you what?"

Zagreus' hands fist in Achilles' tunic, his chest seizing painfully. He can't do this anymore. "I'm not a lass. I'm not—" his voice catches, and he hates it. He can't get the rest of the words out.

"Ah," Achilles says. "I see." He gives Zagreus a tight, reassuring squeeze. "Well, then, what would you prefer instead? Is 'lad' alright?"

Zagreus pushes away from Achilles' shoulder, looking up at him in surprise. "It's okay?" 

"Of course it is," Achilles says easily. "Why wouldn't it be?" 

Zagreus finds that he doesn't know. "I just thought— I mean… isn't it weird?" 

"Is it any weirder than perpetually flaming feet or a three-headed dog?" Achilles asks. "Little God, in the realm of things that are 'weird,' knowing who you are is practically mundane." Achilles smiles warmly, a conspiratory glint in his eye. "Did you know, Lad, that I am not always a man?"

"You're not?" 

Achilles shakes his head. "No, sometimes I am a woman. And sometimes I am neither. Rarely, perhaps a handful of times in my existence, I have been nothing at all." 

Zagreus looks at him in wonder. "Really?" 

"Really," Achilles confirms. "So do not worry, Young Prince. You're doing fine." 

Zagreus grins, warmed by being called a prince. He wraps his arms around Achilles' neck, hugging him tight. "Thank you." 

"Of course, Lad."

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! You can also find me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/cellostiel)


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